We all do a lot of self-talk, and it’s usually not positive.
This is not to say all self-talk needs to be positive, but I do know it shouldn’t be negative.
Whatever amount of self-talk that you have that’s negative is too much.

For years, I cracked jokes telling people, “talk nice to me.” Most of the time I said it was because they were already telling me something I wanted to hear or I liked what they were saying to me.  I wanted them to continue.  This summer, I tried something different. I started talking nice to myself.

The fact about life is this: we can’t expect kindness from the world if we don’t even give it to ourselves.

In the past, when I had tough times, specifically when I struggled during workouts, my default mode was to curse myself out:
“Come on man, what the hell are you doing?”
That’s the over simplified, PG-13 version of course.  Sometimes I’d even use a different language to say the most sinister stuff to myself.

That approach only made the hard days harder.

So I tried something different. Instead of beating myself down, I took a deep breath and hit myself with positive, grounded self-talk:

Nothing cheesy. Nothing fake. Just real, empowering reminders.

It worked. The rough patches passed quicker. Even when the struggle lingered, I didn’t spiral into frustration. I reminded myself that growth isn’t linear. Setbacks are part of the process. Tomorrow is another chance, and I’ll come back better. I also believe, I was able to have that perspective because of the positive momentum I had already built with the positive self-talk during the struggle.

The world is already going to chew you up, spit you out, and test you in every way possible. There’s no need to join in on the punishment.

You can’t afford to be your own enemy.

When you shift the way you talk to yourself, you don’t erase the challenge, you reframe it. Instead of “this is too hard,” it becomes “I’m built for this.” Instead of “I can’t get through this,” it becomes “I’ve been here before, and I know how to win.”

That framing is powerful. It primes you to approach obstacles with energy, grit, and anticipation of success, not dread.

Don’t add to the world’s chaos by beating yourself up. Life will test you enough. Be your own teammate. Talk nice to yourself.

Not empty affirmations. Not fake positivity. Just real, grounded words that remind you of who you are and what you’re capable of.

Mindset isn’t just a buzzword, it’s the foundation of progress.